It’s been seven days since the Presidential election and Ashton Kutcher is still nowhere to be found. I’m starting to think that we are not in fact being Punked. That’s not why I’m here, but I have learned a buncha stuff in the last seven days. Here it is.
In the last seven days my brain as grown a bit. They say you learn something new everyday and ya know, I think I did. Let’s recap, some of the biggies (feel free to take notes) turkeys take an extremely long time to defrost, getting your arms waxed does not hurt at all, the dollar tree is one of the greatest places maybe ever, It is important to remember that memories will last a lifetime, and eventually the wedding video we were supposed to get will have someday become obsolete anyways so really, its fine…really…I swear…(kinda), you need to add more than a Monday workout to lose more than one pound in 3 weeks (eye roll), and puppies are not easier than children (I don’t think, but I’m willing to bet on it)
My hunky husband refuses to stray from tradition and insists on turkey with all the fix ins’ on the coming day of thanks, so what does that mean…we have been placed in charge of the bird. Thanks a lot. In past years, I have been in charge of drinks which ended with me showing up with 8 bottles of wine, so this year may require some research. Needles to say my pin boards have been blowing up with turkey basting for dummies, and how to not ruin Thanksgiving. Not to mention the magazine on the ottoman informed me that it will take days to defrost the damn thing. Are you even kidding!? What am I thankful for this year? Aside from wine tasting on black Friday, I must say, 2016 was one hell of a year, so my list of things to thank, are one bountiful harvest. I’ll let you know next week what I say when its my turn to go, after Grace but before stuffing.
I have been trying to stay motivated and really get this booty of mine kicked back into shape, so every Monday morning Jade and I have been sweating for God knows what. Yesterday, I stepped on the scale and although I will say, I am feeling…tighter in places, one lousy pound has been shed. Fact; you have to eat healthier along WITH the sweat, otherwise your are just cramping for fun.
Alright, here it goes, this my friends is called faking it. It’s “totally fine” that all we will have to remember our wonderfully perfect wedding will be our incredible photos, and our memories. Last week, I found out that our not quite finished, 11 hours of wedding footage, was stolen out of the car of our dear friend who videoed our wedding. Yes, I feel terrible for Aaron not only having been completely violated by someone with the nerve to defile someone else’s property, but he also had to break the news to me. Aaron has known me most of my life and yeah, he knew id pretty much flip my shit. With the news I somehow found it deep within my soul to bury my rage and remember, it wasn’t his fault, and the important thing is that I’m still married to Mr. Unicorn man, and that’s all I need. I think. But maybe it would have been nice to get to see our ceremony, and our first dance, and my dad’s speech, but seriously, its fine. Im fine. It’s not about the dress remember, but ohhhhhh the dress, on the dance floor, the cake, the flowers, the WHOLE DAMN DAY!. Gone, but not forgotten. EVER. Lets move on before I cry.
Its been two weeks and we still have a puppy! I know that people say it’s not even close to the same as having a kid, but I’m pretty sure the whole, eat, sleep, poop routine goes for both. I am confident that if we continue to keep up the good work with this small fur child, we should be fine with a human. I think. we’ll see, we’ve got time.
Its time to leave for school, so I’ve gotta get the pup corralled before I go, We’ll talk later. Start defrosting that turkey!