When opportunity knocks.

In middle school, as a teenager, in college, a young adult, hell basically a girls whole life (mine, anyways) I have been trying to convince the world that it’s totally ok for a girl to have guy friends.  This has inevitably backfired on me since the day I started the campaign, but I’m a pusher, so I keep on.  It’s the the God’s honest truth that I grew up with brothers, and I just like boys in general.  I wanted to kiss the cute ones, hangout with the cool ones, and I married the perfect one.  Call me (boy) crazy.  Anyways, I am absolutely confident enough in my relationship with my husband to be able to hangout with my friends, no matter the gender, and have myself, my husband, and my friends all be comfortable and on the same page.  It is what you make of it. End of story. That one anyway.

Since we moved into our bungalow, we have loved it, great space, awesome neighborhood, and pretty cool neighbors, for the most part.  When you move in a new place, you always wanna make nice with a few important people.  The ones directly next to you, the ones with kids and the ones with the coolest dog (other than Gypsy).  So far, we’ve succeeded. Day 2 of living here we meet example one, neighbors directly next to us.  Great people, small family, only staying for a short time while their house is re-modeled, she’s pregnant and their 2-year-old is the cutest ever.  All is well. Until it’s not.

Ya know those people who are just a little too nice? The kind that make everything seem like they mean well and have good intentions but then the famous “gut feeling” kicks in and you’re just like, NO.  Well, enter the dad.  Mind you, this is a fellow fire family (different department), so naturally Sean and I offered both our phone numbers, and said to please let us know if they ever need anything when he is at work, and not to hesitate.  We honestly expected this to turn into a fire wife friendship and the occasional bbq.  Not so much.  Since this encounter the wife has been your run of the mill neighbor, waving when we pass and saying hello when obligatory, but past that, nothing.  The dad on the other hand, comes over everyday and just wants to chat.  I’m pretty sure we have 2 Bud lites in our fridge that he brought over one day to “hang”.  Last week, I get a knock on the door and its him and the baby and he tells me that she wants to see the turtles.  Of course, Of course, come on in.  After getting asked what I was doing that night and it was confirmed that Sean was at work and wouldn’t be coming home, I started to feel my gut kick me.  Just a little off.  And keep in mind, they have our phone numbers, I know we live 3.5 feet away and share a wall, but a text or call would be cool before catching me in my P.J.s more than once a week.

So, it’s Saturday night. Described my Miss Bradshaw as, “Date Night”, and I’m studying. Apparently that’s my life now, but I’m not complaining and our all too comfortable and slightly socially awkward neighbor knocks on the door.  I get up and walk over to the door (in sweats, obviously) , and he’s alone.  Obviously, not going to use the turtle excuse this time.  I don’t even open the screen door because its like, ok I’m home alone, what do ya need.  “Hey, whats going on”, I’m trying to be as neighborly as possible as I stand behind my clearly drawn line in the sand.  Im not usually at a loss for words, but what comes next took ’em right from me.

“Hi, What are you doing right now? I saw that just your car is here, and was wondering if you wanted to ride bikes with me and go get a drink at the bar down the street. My wife and daughter are in LA and won’t be home for hours”

Ummmm, No.

I may be the biggest girls and guys can be friends advocate on the planet, but this isn’t college buddy.  On what planet is that an appropriate question.  We are not family friends, we do not hangout, you obviously know my husband isn’t home, and no, we will never be on a “going to get a drink together” level.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m that old married lady who doesn’t want to change out of her PJs on a saturday night, but the ICK factor was real tonight.  When I found my words, I told him I was studying and thanks anyways.  Number one rule, don’t piss them off (I watch enough Law and Order to be an SVU Sargent) So I kindly denied him, but cannot stop thinking about how awkward this encounter was. All I can do is ask myself, would he have asked me when his wife was home? Why doesn’t she ever really want to chat? Are they unhappy? Why is he here? She leaves a lot and takes the baby but not him.  She is pregnant. Why is he here? Why didn’t he call first? He should be calling Sean, Not me.  Why is he here?

Seriously, What just happened? I still think its fine to have dude friends, but not fine to go for drinks with strangers.  Talk about a “Seriously, I can’t even” moment.  Moral of this story, lock your doors ladies, my neighbor is looking for attention.

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