What is even happening!? I woke up from a magical sleep, to a sinus infection and the news that Tarek and Christina have been split up SINCE MAY. What the!? Clearly, I need to go back to bed. Yesterday, I baked a pie with a sleeping baby strapped to me, drank Champagne and ate cookies. Today, this. Am I being punished? Oh and did I mention my spotty dotty dog has a Bah-Hum- Stomach Bug and couldn’t go to Bark City, Jeeze. I vaccinate my kid, and she still gets kicked off the playground. Its Christmas and we’re all in misery! I haven’t always been a self- proclaimed super nanny, but this year I feel that I have really earned the title. Ive been faced with terrible 2’s, learning the Hotdog dance, monitoring inappropriate YouTube channels for children and thw occasional confusion between Santa and God. Id say Ive earned a crown or something, but thats all relative in the scheme of things. Lately, I really enjoy spending my time wiping noses and counting to five. Makes me feel important. But any who.
Isnt it strange how everyone complains so much about the holidays? The obligation to see the people that are essential to your being. When did spending time with family and friends become such a hassle? Im pretty sure the only difference between having dinner with your parents in July and in December is your choice of footwear and probably the pandora station playing in the restaurant. Can we all please just get over it and be happy? If you think the holidays are “hard” and annoying now, just wait till your current situation isn’t a thing anymore. How are you going to feel then? Sure, the 91 and the 405 freeways really suck, but just be glad you have a reason to drive on them. You have a job, you have a family, you have a reason to be in the car.
Last Saturday I worked, got off a little late, and yeah getting back in the car and driving another 30 minutes would have been cooler if I could fly, but I did it. Not because I HAD to but because I wanted to. I truly look forward to any and all holiday “obligations” that Im unspokenly (yea, I think I made that word up) committed to. I wouldn’t be anything I am unless, every year Tom put way too many lights on the house or Craig poked fun of me for something. If my dad didn’t fall off the couch laughing at Cousin Eddie or Cameron didn’t wear his “Christmas shirt” (you all have it, the nice shirt you keep for casual family gatherings where you have to not look like the smelly kid in the family) at least twice. I am me because Tam takes the tree down as soon as Gramma leaves and because Travis finger paints poetic paintings that make us all look bad in the gift giving department.
So ya, you wont see me complaining. This year, Im here to embrace obligations, and let it go, (let it go)!
If you need me, Ill be at the kids table with a black olive on each finger and yes Damnit, I WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN!
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!