`I would like to start by thanking whoever the genius was that invented dry-fit, the service you have provided is of the utmost importance. I should clarify, that I am guilty of the crimes I am about to discuss.
Lets face it, we are all apart of the yoga pant phenomenon that is “FALL”. If it wasn’t for Starbucks and their pumpkin spiced crack, along with UGG Australia and Target selling those damn stretchy pants that we can’t seem to take off, we wouldn’t even know it was October. Where the problem arises is when we are at Target, wearing our “yoga pants” drinking our crack, we get home and completely forget that our “yoga pants” are not actually intended for yoga, but solely for Target trips and pedicures.
As I said, I am guilty of watching my saturday morning cartoons (in my yoga pants) and realizing that my pilates class starts in 5 minutes and I should have left 5 minutes ago. So, naturally I think, hell I’m already wearing yoga pants, ill just GO! 15 minutes into my cardio jump board class, I realize, wholly shit my water just broke. Wait, I’m not pregnant…oh my, God I must have started my period…nope, ended last week. EXHIBIT A! YOGA PANTS ARE NOT DRY FIT! So now, I get to finish the remainder of my pilates class looking like I had a bad dream and forgot my pull-ups. This horrifying experience happened to me prior to discovering Lulu’s and having the entire Hurley Workout collection in my closet. Never have I ever, since such events, even considered breaking a sweat (and it doesn’t take much) in anything other and an outfit that clearly states “dry-fit” on the tag.
I recently started going to OrangeTheory Fitness near my house, which I love. I seriously cannot imagine walking in that room not wearing my cutest workout outfit. Not only because I sweat like nobodies business, but because (I’ll be honest) I go to the Newport location and the women I workout with are 3X my age and 3X hotter than I am. I need to keep up, with their cardio and their looks. With that being said, the most recognizable Newport native that I see at the gym, who shall remain nameless but may or may not appear weekly on BRAVO TV, DOESNT (always) WEAR DRY-FIT! It really bums me out seeing you leave the class looking like you just had an accident and I would really like to stay under the impression that you are a mystical creature who takes lavish trips and doesn’t eat bread. Can you do me a favor and invest in a pair of Nike pants!
This may have been a big “DUH”, for you, which I hope it was…but If I can help out just one of you and teach you this important life lesson, I will be happy. Friends don’t let friends get a perm, and friends don’t let friends wear cotton to the gym. End of story.